One Woman Man
by Darkshines1984
Summary: Set at the end of the show. Jo and John try to work through their issues but it's not easy. Chapter 2 up, there will be more!
1. Chapter 1

One Woman Man

Author: Darkshines1984

Summary: Set at the end of the show. Jo and John have issues to work through but they have never managed to before so what can change now?

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

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Jo Mills had been working on her current Human Rights case for almost five hours, ever since she'd got back from court. She'd only eaten a cheap deli sandwich she'd picked up on route and was starting to feel hungry and fed up. This case was losing her sleep it was that complex and she wasn't even sure she could help the British Soldier she was representing. She knew John was very doubtful the young soldier would be cleared of any wrong doings, the evidence against him was too strong, even if it was fairly apparent he was of good character and would never dream of raping young victims of war. She had barely had a chance to speak to Deed though as he had been given extremely tight security after he had been targeted by terrorists. There was also a female French Judge that seemed determined Jo should get nowhere near him. The funny thing was that John hadn't seemed to notice, he was very wrapped up in his own little world since the attack.

There was a knock on the hotel door which startled her slightly. It was late, past eleven, who would be knocking this late? Recent events had made her even more aware of the dangers in the law profession and now all the hairs on the back of her neck where standing up on end.

She made her way to the door and peered through the little hole, it was John. She swung the door open and they were left standing opposite each other, inches apart but with an imaginary divide between them.

"Where the hell are your security guards?" She asked; he didn't make eye contact with her.

"Don't tell me you've shook them off" She continued angrily "Do you want to get killed?"

"Of course not" John replied softly "I just needed to see you"

"Why?" She asked suspiciously, she wasn't in the mood for him to try and seduce her.

"You're the only person I can talk to" He admitted, still avoiding eye contact with her.

She stepped to the side and let him in the room, pushing the door shut behind him. She couldn't refuse him at the best of times, never mind when he looked so helpless. In fact, she'd never seen him look quite that helpless before, he was unshaved and dishevelled. That was very un-John like, he was usually immaculate.

He walked across to the far side of the room and peered out the window, she wasn't sure if he was looking for someone or just looking. She took a few steps towards him before stopping a couple of feet behind him, looking over his shoulder. When she couldn't see anything of interest she decided he was just staring of into the distance. He obviously needed to talk but John didn't like feeling weak or out of control, he was obviously struggling.

"It's not a bad view is it" She stated, trying to break the silence. He turned to face her and smiled weakly.

"No, it's much better than mine" He agreed "It's late, were you still working?"

"Yes" Jo was glad to just get some sort of conversation out of him "This human rights trial is ... trying"

"Indeed" He agreed "It's complicated enough to provide some kind of distraction."

She stepped towards him and stroked his cheek with her hand and he looked into her eyes for the first time since he'd arrived. Rather than the usual cheeky seductive look he'd have given her for such an action there was just sadness. It made Jo feel sick to the pit of her stomach and she wasn't sure what to say or do to help him.

"You said you wanted to talk John" She reminded him, her voice soft and caring.

"I did didn't I" He agreed "I really do Jo, but I don't even know where to start or what to say."

"Just say what's on your mind" Jo said encouragingly "Maybe we should sit down?"

She turned and made her was to the small sofa and sat herself down and he followed her, slouching down next to her.

"I'm really shaken" He finally admitted "I mean terrorists tried to blow me up!"

"John you're bound to be" She said soothingly "You are only human after all."

"It's not just that though" He said solemnly "If it had just been a car bomb or something mundane like that then I'd have been shaken but ....."

"Not stirred?" Jo finished for him, with a slight smile on her lips.

"Something like that" He agreed. His hand reached for hers and she allowed him to grasp it and hold on firmly.

"I actually really liked her" He said honestly "She's the only woman apart from you I've had real feelings for in years. What a fool I am, I couldn't even see it."

"You are not a fool" She replied firmly "She must have had real feelings for you John or she wouldn't have risked blowing herself up trying to disarm that bomb, even if she did set it in the first place."

"Maybe" He half agreed "I feel like her blood is on my hands though."

"Don't you dare feel guilty" She said, grabbing his other hand with her free hand.

"You have people who love and care for you" She continued "She made a choice John, she made a choice to become a terrorist and it cost her life. You mustn't let it destroy you."

John looked a little stunned by the emotional response she's had to his comments, but she had hardly gave him the time of day recently so it was no shock to her that he was surprised.

"I do love you, you know" He stated quietly "I always will."

She looked into his eyes and for once in a long time she didn't feel anger at his declaration. There was no intent in his look or body language to seduce her. He just looked a little lost, like a small child.

"I don't doubt that" She admitted "Just in your ability not to wander. It's not enough that you always come back."

"I know" He stated quietly "Sorry, I hadn't intended to bring it up."

She was shocked that he didn't try to justify his actions like he usually did, he just sounded a bit defeated. She let go of one of his hands but kept hold of the other still.

"You should probably ring your security guards" She spoke up "I'd rather you were escorted back to your hotel safely."

"Ok" He agreed and moved away from the sofa, using his mobile phone to ring his minders. He sat down after a minute or so of heated debate and pulled a silly face at her.

"They're not best pleased with me" He stated "They're on their way though."

"I bet they're not!" She laughed "You must be like a living hell for them."

He smiled in response and edged closer to her, when she didn't run away he leant his head on her shoulder and cuddled against her slightly.

"You must feel bad" Jo stated "If I'm getting cuddled not propositioned."

"There is no point me propositioning you" He stated "I haven't got the energy or the will-power to do anything else other than fall asleep on you."

"Good god John!" She exclaimed "This sounds like a job for A&E!"

"Sod off" He grumbled in response. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door.

"My babysitters must be here" John joked as he clambered to his feet "I'll see you tomorrow in court."

He turned and walked towards the door and she found herself jumping to her feet after him automatically and without thought.

"John" She called his name as he got to the door. Before he opened it he turned back slightly to see what she wanted.

"Stay safe" She said affectionately "I do care about you and I don't want to lose you because you can't tolerate a bit of security."

"Care about me" John repeated her words "That sticks in my throat a bit Jo."

He didn't give her a chance to reply before opening the door and greeting his security officer Patrice. The security officer looked thoroughly annoyed with him and John just held his hands up in apology.

"See you tomorrow" John turned and said to Jo before shutting the door behind him and leaving.

Jo was left standing in the middle of the room considering his words. She was going to say that she loved him but then her head kicked in and she'd changed her mind. She could understand why the word 'care' had hurt him, it was wishy-washy and meant very little really. She had been dismissive and dishonest to him and for once he had been completely straightforward with her. God he was so bloody frustrating sometimes.


	2. Chapter 2

Glad those that reviewed enjoyed the first chapter! This one has very little Jo-john interaction but is important.

Jo felt so unbelievably tired that she was amazed she actually got through a whole day of court without falling asleep. She had been slightly distracted by John too, or should she say Lord Justice Deed in these circumstances. Not that being distracted by him was uncommon, but this was different, she was extremely worried about him. She'd been worried before, she'd feared for his job and his reputation regularly but never for his mental health. He'd always seemed so strong and almost untouchable before last night but now she felt like he'd took all her normal perceptions of him and obliterated them. She felt like she hardly knew the quiet and aloof Judge who sat in-front of her today, she couldn't remember him interfering once.

Someone said hello to her and it brought her back to her present surroundings. She was still stood in the corner of the lobby outside the court and she wondered if she had been stood there too long to catch John up. She began to walk down the corridor towards his temporary office and saw him at the top of the stairs talking to the clerk. She held back until he'd finished his conversation but then as the clerk walked off the French Judge, Juliette Panis, approached from the other direction and grabbed his attention. Jo doubted either of them had seen her so she shifted back around the corner so she was out of sight but not out of earshot. Jo knew it was a bit out of order spying on him but she had to know he was ok and perhaps she had to know how he was around other women at the moment.

"Perhaps you like to come to my office to discuss case or perhaps a drink?" The French temptress was blatantly trying it on with him. Jo felt her blood boil slightly at the tone of Panis' voice.

"No thank you" John replied disinterestedly. Jo wished she could see the look on Panis' face but hearing her reply was good enough.

"Non?!" The French woman replied aghast.

"I've heard enough about this case for one day" Deed explained politely, obviously backtracking a bit because he realised he's offended her.

"Then we just have dinner and discuss something else" She continued persistently.

"Thank you but no thank you" Deed said firmly "I'm not in the mood for company."

"Would it be different if I was Madame Mills" There was a slightly edgy tinge to her voice, like she knew she was hitting on a nerve. Now Jo's blood really was boiling and it took all her might not to go and shout at her.

"It might" John replied after a pause "Mrs Mills and I are old friends"

"Ah oui, old friends" she replied sarcastically "So I've heard!"

"This isn't going to make me go to dinner with you" John pointed out to her.

"A member of your civil service told me she no longer want you, why do you still chase her?" Panis was becoming far too pushy now for Jo's liking and obviously for John's too. Still, what he said next surprised Jo and made her realise just how he was struggling to keep his self control at the moment.

"Because I love her" John snapped "That's not about to change."

There was silence, Panis did not expect to push his buttons so easily and now she was clearly lost for words. Jo decided now was a good time to jump in and rescue him.

"Oh John there you are, good!" Jo announced as she turned the corner "Charlie rang, said she couldn't get hold of you."

"Excuse me" The French Judge dismissed herself and headed off in the direction of the offices.

"Is Charlie okay?" John was concerned.

"I wouldn't know" Jo confessed "I haven't spoken to her!"

"Ah" John understood her "How much did you hear?"

"A bit" She confessed, bowing her head in mock shame. John smiled and linked her arm, she linked him back and they walked towards his office in silence. Once they had got into his office she finally felt safe to speak up.

"John, you lost control out there in the corridor. You reacted to her stupid comments." John turned away and began to strip of his judicial robe.

"John" She continued "You need to find some way of dealing with this or it could spell trouble."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that" John snapped back at her, throwing his robe at the coat stand rather than hanging on it. Jo through her hands in front of herself in frustration with him.

"I'm not having a go John, I just want to help" Jo said softly, trying to calm the situation down.

"I know" He turned to her "I don't think I can do this now Jo, I don't think I can talk to you about this."

"What?" Jo felt so confused and hurt, last night she was the only one he could talk too and now he couldn't talk to her about it at all.

"This has given me some frightening perspective Jo" He explained hurriedly "I understand what I want more than anything and it's further away from me than it's ever been."

Jo watched him pace across the room and gaze out his window, then pace back to the coat rack and pick his robe up and place it on the rack. She had never seen him so restless and she knew that she was a major cause of what was troubling him.

"John ...." She was cut off by a knock on the door it was John's security officer.

"Your lift awaits sir" The burly man explained, giving them an apologetic look for his intrusion.

"Coming" John said briskly, throwing his long black coat on. The security guard walked off and Jon headed towards the open door, holding it open for her.

"John..." She started again as she got to the doorway but he cut her off. They were virtually nose to nose and she felt that tingle she often got around him rise again.

"Jo" He cut in "its okay, I do understand. You have every reason not to trust in what I say."

She couldn't think of a reply, she wanted to believe that he could commit to her but he'd never managed it before and they had been through a lot together. It was hard to believe he was suddenly going to start being faithful now. He didn't wait for her to formulate a response. He allowed the door to gently shut behind her and walked off, following his security officer down the long corridor back towards the stairs.

Jo felt tears stinging her eyes and she desperately tried not to cry. She had no right to be upset at him pushing her away, she'd spent long enough doing so to him. It didn't make her feel any better though, it just made her wonder how he had felt all those times she'd walked away or refused to let him hold her. She'd spent so long convincing herself he didn't really love her and now it had turned tables and suddenly he obviously thought she didn't love him. He was so wrong, she did, god she did, so much so that it always felt like he'd stabbed her through the heart every time he did something stupid. She had refused to admit it for so long and now the idea of trying again with him terrified her, yet exhilarated her at the same time. Could she really risk her heart on him yet again?


End file.
